2) 10 minutes after he fell asleep the doorbell rang. The dogs went crazy. I answered the door. It was a Jehovah's Witness. They left. I put the "do not knock or ring bell" sign on the door. I wrestled Sam back to sleep.
3) 5 minutes later the bell rang AGAIN. Despite the sign. It was UPS. (The same UPS guy who last week delivered my package to my neighbor and her package to me, ignored the sign on the door, and couldn't understand why I was angry). He had another package today.
4) The package was for my neighbor.
5) There is now a sign on my door that says "The last person that rang my doorbell while my child was napping is now buried in my backyard. Do you feel lucky?"
6) I'm not kidding.