Thursday, July 7, 2011

Love-Hate Relationship

I have a love-hate relationship with pregnancy.  Here's why.

Things I hate:

I have been sick to my stomach every single day since mid-November.  I am not one of those women who can puke and feel better.  If I puke once I will puke 8.2 million times until my stomach spasms uncontrollably and I dehydrate.  Many days have been spent laying on a cold tile bathroom floor or in bed with a trashcan very nearby.  And that is WITH anti-nausea meds. 

I have had low back issues for over 10 years.  Having a small human inside me has not improved those issues.  Especially considering the fact that said human has a uncanny ability for finding pressure points that make my entire back cramp up or my leg go numb. 

People like to ask how I'm feeling and then, when I answer honestly, they feel the need to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way.  This results in me struggling with either being sarcastic or stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil.  Don't ask if you don't want to know!  Heavy Sigh...

I have lost my debit card approximately 271 times in the last nine months.  I have also lost my keys and my checkbook and have forgotten more important details than I can count.  I have become an idiot, and I have no patience for idiots.  I could use this as a lesson in patience, but I'm just too annoyed.

For some reason Texas decided that this summer is going to be unseasonably and unreasonably hot.  Seriously, Texas?  I love you, but Oregon is looking awfully appealing right about now.

After giving up on ever having children I switched to a high-deductible insurance plan last year.  Ironically that change took effect about 45 days before I took a positive pregnancy test.  This means Sam and I EACH have a separate deductible that has to be paid before insurance kicks in.  Nice.

One word:  Cankles.

Things like bending over to empty the dishwasher or unload the dryer tend to result in a sudden loss of balance.  I have managed not to fall so far, but there have been several instances of me screeching and flailing my arms to prevent ending up in a heap on the floor.  This also typically results in my husband giggling uncontrollably but trying to hide it.

Pelvic pressure and ligament pain causes waddling which, in turn, has caused me to stub my toes repeatedly.  Combine that with the above mentioned cankles and there is plenty to make fun of where my feet are concerned.

I have to either allow my husband to shave my legs for me or go with the Sasquatch approach.  Sexy.

Things I Love

There's really nothing like feeling this little weirdo moving around in there. 

I have snarky, sarcastic friends that make me laugh until I cry.  Not all advice is cliche and unsolicited.

I get to hear that perfect little swishing heartbeat.

I got to share the majority of my pregnancy with lots and lots of friends.  (Nevermind the fact that I'm still waddling in the Texas summer while they are cuddling their newborns.  Grrrrrr....)

Somehow God has decided to bless us with the financial ability for me to be a stay-at-home mom.  I really never thought that would happen.

Since we are having a boy I didn't have to deal with frilly, lacy dresses and fluffy, cotton candy pink outfits.  It also minimalized the ooey-gooey "Awwwwwww, that's precious!" comments at baby showers. 

Putting together and decorating a vintage sports nursery has been tons of fun.

Someday I get to tell Sam that we watched the Dallas Mavericks win their first NBA championship when I was 8.5 months pregnant.  And that I was so nervous I ate his weight in Laffy Taffy.

My nephew keeps asking when his "best friend Sam" will come out to play.  He also loves to poke my belly and say "I'm gettin' Baby Sam, Aunt Sarah!  I'm GETTIN' him!".

It's overwhelming how many people have joined us in praying through this adventure.  People that I've never even met sent gifts because they know my mom or my grandmother and they feel a connection to our story.  (And the emphasis here is on the thought - not on the gifts!)

If you had told me last year that me and my two best buddies from high school would be welcoming boys 14 weeks apart I would have laughed in your face.  Not to mention the two baby girls at church, the second-cousin, and the sweet boy born to friends who have been on an infertility journey with us.  God answers prayers!

My husband is the most unselfish, hard-working man on the planet who has kept me sane when I thought a nervous breakdown was inevitable.  There have been nights where I've woken him up at 3am because my back hurt so bad I couldn't stand it.  His response was to run a hot bath and sit with me while the Tylenol kicked in.  And somewhere along the way we learned to laugh at everything we could.  Like when he referred to my swollen feet/ankles as "flippers" and barked like a seal at me.  Yep, he really did.

I get to eat ice cream and pasta with minimal guilt.  After being so sick for so long my doctor says "What Sammy wants, Sammy gets."  Have I mentioned I love my doctor? :)

Pregnancy is a constant reminder of where we've been and where we're going and who is in control of it all.

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