"When I told her that a habit is something that you wear, I felt it, how I caught on something, snagged. For days, I unravel. Forget figuring out how to form a habit. I’m not there yet. First, what are the few habits worth wearing? You can only layer so much."Whoa!
I'm a list maker. I keep notebooks by my bed and by "my side" of the couch, and they are full of lists. Sometimes my brain just feels so full of ideas that I need to get them out to allow things to flow freely again. It's like a traffic jam of thoughts. I could go back and look at years worth of notebooks and see years worth of lists that never materialized into action. This has always bothered me, but I couldn't figure out what to do about it because, let's face it, there's only so many hours in a day and I have just one set of hands. So I keep making lists that sit in notebooks and eventually are thrown away to be replaced by a new notebook of lists that will start the cycle all over again. *Heavy Sigh*.
And then I read Ann's words, and the solution smacked me in the head like a 2x4.
(That's usually how God communicates with me. I always seem to miss the whispers and hints and end up needing the ol' 2x4 to the forehead. But that's a whole different blog entry!)
The solution is so simple. Rather than focusing on how to get everything on those lists finished - just focus on smaller, simpler lists. Stop trying to layer on so many "habits" that I look like Joey in the famous Friends episode. Look at me - I'm Chandler - Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!
So how do I simplify. What are those habits that are worth wearing? What do I choose to focus on? This year my goal is to focus on Stewardship. With that in mind I formed my list of "habits".
I wrote last week about learning to breathe. To fill my spirit with the knowledge of God in all His many forms. I will slow down. I will make time to sit quietly and breathe the spirit of God. I will own the fact that this time will not fall in my lap - I have to schedule it and adhere to that schedule.
I'm not talking about monetary giving, although that's definitely part of the big picture. What I'm talking about is giving of myself. Freely with no reservations. If there is a need my question should be "How can I fill it?" rather than "How can I manage to fit it into my busy schedule?". One answer assumes a positive response while the other assumes negativity. I want to be the one that says "Here am I. Send me." Even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.
3. Be Illogical
With every apology to my father and my grandfather it's time to be a little bit illogical. Sometimes the tuggings of the Holy Spirit defy logic. I can guarantee you that if I had been Ananias in Acts 9, and the Lord had said "Hey, I want you to go track down the most infamous persecutor of Christians and pray over him" I would have had some serious questions to ask. What about when the angel told Abraham and Sarah that they were going to have a baby at their advanced age? Remember Sarah's laughter? Yep, that'd be me! And then when God told Abraham to take that same child up the mountain and sacrifice him? Riiiiight. And that doesn't even begin to cover the vast array of stories that defy man's logic. What about Moses? What about Gideon? Let me clarify. I'm not saying that I have plans to do anything crazy. But I can tell you that I have no idea what is on the horizon in so many areas of my life. A few months ago I would have been curled into the fetal position sucking my thumb. Today I'm fighting that urge and trying to rely on the promises God has made and kept for centuries. Today I'm almost looking forward to the challenge of doing something crazy and being able to give the glory to God. I don't know what He's going to ask of me, but I do know that I want to be ready to go when He calls!
That's it. Those are the habits I want to wear. I want my legacy to be based in these things. Strange, isn't it, that those are the things that are completely counter-intuitive to me? The things that are completely against my selfish nature. Or maybe, when I consider how God works, it's not so strange after all.